"Extreme" disorder?

i've always been the type of person who isn't happy unless there are extremes. while nothing bad may be going on in my life, i don't ever feel happy unless something tremendous happens. Even if i'm completely miserable because of a bad relationship or something, i feel comfortable because i'm the "extreme" of bad. i either have to be insanely happy or miserable in order to "feel". i don't understand why i am this way, maybe it's because my parents did drugs before they had me.. i don't know.
to be honest i've been stuck in a feeling of in between for at least a year now, if not longer. maybe my past relationship numbed me more than i already was. but i've been stuck in he middle of this, "i'm okay, nothings bad, nothings great either" funk and i'm sick of it. absolutely OVER it. But how do i get out of it?
because of this "in between" period i have been very indecisive and haven't been the most reliable person. i've been searching for changes, like dying my hair back blond or whatever color to try and fill the space but it hasn't worked.
As i'm writing this right now im watching a little boy on tv who was talking about how he used to be miserable cause he never fit in and then he found dance it became his passion and he's never been happier.
Maybe focusing on my passions is what will truly make me happy again. Sewing and actually creating my couture collection sounds amazing right now.
ive been stuck doing graphic design, networking, promoting, etc for 2 years now if not more! i like doing all of that but i need a fricken break! or at least some balance between that stuff and the stuff i want/need to do.

BALANCE is key.. now it's just a matter of finding it.